So I decided I would start blogging about 6 months before I turned 40 to share how that experience was for me.  My intention was to help folks that were having a hard time turning 40 come to the realization that, yes, we are getting older but it beats the alternative so suck it up, Buttercup, and enjoy the ride.  I haven't made one post since then.  Welcome to the party.

I am now 41 and 3 months.  That's not to say that turning 40 was a horrible experience for me and I wasn't able to share it with a group of my nearest and dearest and maybe in the process help some of them ease into their landmark birthdays.  That's not the case at all.  In fact, it wasn't even a little bit horrible.  However, from the time I created my blog page to my 40th birthday things were a little traumatic...and none of it had to do with turning the big 4-0.    So what happened, you ask?

My mom went into renal failure on Christmas Day, 5 months (almost exactly to the day) before I turned 40.  She did dialysis for 3 months and decided she didn't want to live like that so she made the choice to stop treatment and do hospice.  She delivered this news to me 4 hours prior to me taking a mid-term for a college class I was taking.  Her words to me that day were "Don't you dare cry.  You pull yourself together and you go take your test."  That was what she'd done all my life, encourage me to pull my self up by my bootstraps and carry on.  She died 6 days later.  I was with her when she took her last breath and I wouldn't have had it any other way.  She is the reason I am on the earth and I wasn't going to let her leave the earth without me by her side.  She was my biggest fan and knew me better than I knew myself.  Going through her decision to stop treatment and spending those last 6 days with her was the most heartbreaking and difficult thing I have ever had to do.  But I was grateful she had the opportunity to make that decision for herself and grateful that I got those 6 days with her and her last words to me were "I love you."  I will always cherish that. 

Since her death that April, which was obviously the biggest valley of my life, I've had quite a few peaks and valleys along the road to today.  That May, I turned 40 and shared a fantastic week long vacation with my best friend, who shares the same birthday as mine and was turning 40 as well.  We did a girls week/weekend in San Diego/Vegas and did our best to pretend we were still 20 something.  Pretty nice peak.  In June of that same year, I found out my job was being transitioned to a sister office in another state.  Huge valley, seemingly so low it was just above hell. We were given the opportunity to relocate or find a different position in our local office, the latter of which I chose.  Peak.  In the same month,  my boyfriend, who I call and will refer to in my blog always as PIC (Partner In Crime), turned 40.  We went on a week long vacation to a lovely beach town.  Another peak!  I became a supervisor which led to a promotion to manager recently.  Peak, Valley, Peak, Valley, ad infinitum.  I had a physical after turning 41 and have learned that I am doing pretty darn well with taking care of myself.  Huge peak considering the family histories on both sides!  To keep that trend going, I have recently started to do more clean eating and adding more physical activity in my life.  Early this summer, I walked in my first 5K and anticipate being able to run in a 5K at some point soon.  On top of this, I am entering what is the first of the last 2 to 3 semesters I have left in my going back to college adventure. 

I know this...my life is full and I am living it my way and loving every step along the way, even during my trudges through the valleys because that is where we tend to find our true strengths and learn what is important to us.  I look forward to sharing my road trip in life with anyone who wants to read all about it and know what I know!       

M.J.